The frequent encounter with the eternal problem of a husband’s betrayal confuses many women from all over the world. Constant questions about why this happens and how to avoid infidelity do not give them peace. And since the problem is becoming more frequent every time – women stop trusting men, and sometimes go to extreme measures – change their sexual orientation or become forever disappointed in the male half of the population. However, I would like to think about whether to forgive a husband’s betrayal and how to deal with the consequences of betrayal.
Statistics show that every fifth man neglects family relations and goes to his mistress, or simply cheats on his wife with different girls. The worst fact in such a situation is that the mistress can turn out to be both a stranger and a friend who is quite close to you.
Of course, when a woman finds out about her husband’s betrayal, she has only one thought – to divorce. But is it really worth jumping to conclusions and ending the marriage so suddenly? In fact, a woman needs to clearly understand what to do next in such a situation. If the marriage has jointly acquired property, children, etc. – it is easier to forgive treason than to sever family ties forever.
Psychologists advise you to pay attention to the period of time in your marriage when your husband started cheating on you. If this situation happened during the first 5 years of living together, don’t even think of forgiving his fault. The whole point is that if a man cheated at such an early stage of marriage, his character does not speak of loyalty and reliability. Remember that after the first time he will be able to betray both the second and the third.
If treason occurred after 10 years of marriage, then it is most likely that the problem of treason is in everyday married life. Children, family, career, work, eternal commotion grinds a man. Imagine when in 10 years everything is so boring that you want new sensations. In this case, you can try to forgive the betrayal only because you already have much more in common.
There are 2 types of betrayal, the circumstances of which must be taken into account:
Public treason;
False betrayal.
Yes, false betrayal can be. I want to start with public.
Public betrayal consists in a situation when a man does not try to hide it, tries to justify himself in every way: “She will understand everything”, “There is nothing like that”, “It was on a drunken head”, “Sex with the use of a contraceptive is not treason” – typical excuses of any cheating husband. The very fact that he does not hide the betrayal should already scream that it is worth breaking up the marriage.
False betrayal – everything is the same, but in reverse. The man is confused by the state of what he has betrayed himself, you and his family. He hides the betrayal in every possible way, does not talk about it at work or in the company of friends. If after you found out about the betrayal, your husband justifies himself not only with words, but also with actions – you should forgive him. In this case, psychologists strongly recommend not to make a scandal with either the husband or the mistress. Try to let go of this situation and soberly assess whether you can continue to live with this thought. If so – forgive him and start everything from a clean sheet, if not – separate like ships in the sea.
It may take you months to make a difficult decision, because at the moment when you find out about your husband’s betrayal, it is simply impossible to control yourself, your emotions and actions. Try to abstract yourself from bad thoughts for a while, devote all your time exclusively to yourself and think calmly about your future life together. Will she be? Should you forgive the betrayal of a loved one? What will I lose if I cut family ties forever? In fact, this approach will help you to really soberly assess the situation and the following circumstances.
The main problem after betrayal is to find the same correct decision about the further continuation of the relationship. Sometimes it will be much easier to forgive a betrayal than to trust another man again, who is also capable of betrayal. It is worth remembering that you will not be able to trust your husband for a long time after cheating, which means that checking his phone, doubting that he is at work, suspicions of deception – all this will accompany the family for a long time. As soon as the man proves to the woman that it was a mistake, maybe everything will pass.
If you have already decided that it is worth forgiving your husband’s betrayal, leave your thoughts about this situation. You should not remind him again about the guilt if you decide to continue living together. Try to give him more attention, compliment him, talk to him, travel. Try to spend time together a little more than before. Maybe he misses your presence after the children appear.
It is necessary to be aware of the whole situation and remember one simple thing. A man’s betrayal is often a problem within the family, not his personal problems. Your task is not to maintain a marriage, but to live long and happily.
